Ten Top Signs That It's Lent

10
Another TV show proves that Jesus married Magdalene and had kids.

9
The Red Carpet at the Oscars displays new penitential attire: much more comfortable and ventilated than cassocks, chotki and babushkas. The severe penance proceeds, probably, from self-awareness.

8
Evangelicals try out Lent with 50 Day Spiritual Adventures, or become Purpose Driven, or Emerge of out something into something else. New Hampshire still has its bishop.

7
Anna Nicole Smith is still lying in state, and will remain so, and her baby is homeless, and will remain so, no matter where the judge sends her.

6
KGB guy Putin says that the US is guilty of overstepping its national borders. Moscow thinks it's Rome.

5
Darfur ... what's that?

4
A new spin on positive thinking comes out: it turns out, today, that one vibrates when the thinking, feeling and acting stuff are all positively aligned, like planets and crystals. There's lots of studies that show this.

3
Hope is replaced by positive thinking. Love by compatibility computer scores. Faith by education. Fellowship by networking. Wisdom by différance. Thought by text. The outside by the inside ... the breeze in trees by chemically conditioned HVAC systems in Nordstrom malls and WalMart (same thing: one has popcorn fragrance from Chinese prison camps, the other has urea and perineal secretions).

2
Philip Rieff is confirmed more and more, over and over. The bad gods are coming, since the old order's been kicked away.

1
The light of Christ shines for all. Holy pre-sanctified things are for the holy.